You are a misfit.
You were never meant to fit in with the crowd.
You are met with disdain and reproach because you aren’t the conventional person.
You are different.
You’re not in any clicks or lists, and people don’t pick you.
But that’s ok, because there are benefits of being unconventional. This is why you shouldn’t give up.
Be Transformed, Not Conformed
I had a conversation with a guy the other day that showed the true nature of his intent. He didn’t understand why I did some of the things I did, and wondered why I didn’t do it the way he thought I should do it.
I am not one to conform to things.
But conformity is all around us.
When you’re a misfit you have trouble conforming to the ideals and structures of everyday marketing. You have a strong desire to reach goals higher than you and not take the general avenue of success that everyone thinks you should take. But life is too short to be like everyone else.
The avenue that is right for some people, is not necessarily the avenue that will be right for you.
Make sure you understand where you’re going. Have goals set that will determine where YOU would like to be later in the social business, not where others think you should be.
If you waited on the approval of other people, you would still be sitting right there.
Individual Psychology talks about the point of being pulled toward society’s views of how we should act, think, or feel based on the assumption of inferiority.
On the other hand, existential psychology (same link above) talks about what it is like to be a human. In a sense, there is a psychological value as to what makes people conform to different things, not just marketing.
Most of it is based on fear and inadequacy.
Different people have different views on the subject.
Guess what? Nobody is going to agree with what you’re doing if you plan on being different.
Sure, we promote being different and standing out. The whole purple cow idea from Seth Godin, but secretly everyone else is still the same. It’s the same old marketing techniques, the same old conversations, and the same old arguments.
As a misfit you understand that pushing against the current takes a little longer to get to where you’re going, but if you can stand it, the rewards of being a misfit marketer are high.
The Rule Breaker
Chris Brogan came out with a book recently called The Freaks Shall Inherit The Earth. Talk about a ruler breaker!
You’re not necessarily a rule breaker in the obvious sense, but you are one that doesn’t follow the natural path to where your marketing needs to be.
You jump levels, you astound influencers, you leave a wake behind you that instigates conversation and talk. It’s because people don’t understand how you’re doing it. This leads us to the psychological truths of how people only give you three chances for you to do things their way. And when people can’t figure out why you’re not doing it the way they feel it should be done it brings on negative emotions like fear and/or positive one’s like motivation.
The Driving Factor Behind Fear
Fear is a strong motivator, so when I added motivation above I also meant that motivation can drive fear as well. But I will be talking about another form of motivation later.
Differential psychology is basically the way people are different. However, when one individual can’t grasp the fact that someone isn’t doing things the way they think they should be doing is supported in the aggressiveness of adaptation.
When someone can’t handle it, or understand why you’re so different, their adaptation breaks loose because everything they thought to be true about something starts to crumble when they see you step up to the plate, crush it, and realize that it wasn’t the way they did it.
This is the underlying causes of why fear breaks out in people. People fear that which they do not understand and, since their adaptation has broken down, it causes a reaction of negative emotions that usually end in some kind of response toward you.
That is why you push against the current and why you’re not in any lists or groups. People are having a hard time understanding how you got to where you got because it wasn’t the way they got there. This is also why it’s not easy, but you love it.
Have you ever seen an individual start this business and in 3 months time they’re at the top? It brings about some emotions, because if you have been blogging (or whatever it is you’re doing) and someone else comes in your niche, and your industry, wet behind the ears, and absolutely kills it in the first three months, there is an emotional factor that makes you scared or jealous.
The rule breaker is another misfit in marketing because the same rules do not apply. What takes one person 5 years to do, it may only take another 2 months.
It is important to remember that not every path is the same.
Since you’re already a misfit, then you realize that there are others out there bringing up topics and ideas that are just as crazy as yours and it doesn’t matter how long it takes someone to arrive, but what matters is that you have done what you could to help them get there.
Positive Motivation
This is where the idea of positive motivation comes into play.
Let’s pretend that you’re not the misfit in marketing that you really are. When you see someone like this “breaking out” in the industry, do all that you can to help them get to where they’re going.
They may pass you like you’re sitting still in a month or so, but that’s ok, hopefully they’ll remember that you helped them.
Break to Mention These…
I want to take a minute to share some people that I think are breaking out in this industry of blogging and will probably leave me standing in a couple of months. Read these people’s blogs and get what you can from them because they are everything you think they are.
Misfit marketers and bloggers and they’re great
Thomas Hanna, Carrie Anne Foster, Nicky Pasquier, Carolyn Capern, Robert Ryan, Anna Godfrey, Alisa Meredith, Jason Mathes, Gina Fiedel, Ian Grey, and Andrea Beltrami
Allow the positive vibes to flow always because you never know when a misfit is secretly watching you and admiring you.
Here are more facts about misfit marketing.
The Pathfinder
Misfits are weirdo’s because they take the road less traveled. That’s another reason people don’t understand you.
Why do you do it that way?
You have no idea what to tell them, it’s just the way you like doing it.
It’s not the easy way, but it feels natural to you. That’s what makes you stand out. Natural things come as odd and really doesn’t make sense to you.
But you take the road less traveled because it fits and it works.
One of the things about being a pathfinder is that you will face obstacles that will stand in your way. Sometimes it’s people, sometimes it’s strategy, but that’s the way you like it.
This makes you stronger and it helps your motivation and drives you to do better, whether it be to prove someone wrong or overcome something that you need to do for your marketing.
I’m A Misfit
Yep, you read that right.
People don’t understand why I have friends like Jay Baer and Mark Schaeffer.
They think I shouldn’t shoot for the stars and get there the way I want to get there. I’m unconventional because I’m not doing it the way it should be done.
They think my writing stinks, I’m not relational to people, I don’t smile, I’m a stoic guy, my show could be better, why don’t I do things this way rather than do things the way I’m doing? I am pretending to be higher than what I really am, I’m not thinking like a marketer, we’re moving away from you because of fill in the blank…etc.
If you’re one of those people that think these things then I can’t change your mind about me.
I’m not even going to try.
I am flattered that you would take time out of your day to worry about what I am doing though. But there is a negative effect to all of this. However I want to tell you one thing…
I Pick Me
For all of those people that aren’t in the clicks, in the groups, or you possibly do things the unconventional way, I want to encourage you that even though it seems like nobody is picking you for success then do one thing for me.
There is a problem with some things on social media and it is causing people to fall in line with the “leaders” and push away anything that is different.
But when you take into account all of the people you surround yourself with, you need to ask yourself. Are these people providing me with positive feedback that I can use to help myself? Or are they simply spouting negative things at me all the time?
If it’s the latter, then you shouldn’t be around them.
At some point in your marketing career you will face adversity and negativity. Trolls and jealous people are creeping around every corner, waiting to pounce on you for that weird thing that makes you different.
But you can fix that…
Get rid of the negativity and get rid of the toxicity! It’s not doing you any good. Sure they call it “constructive criticism” but nothing is constructive in a yelling match. If they won’t pick you, then take your weird way of doing marketing and show them that they have to at least respect you.
If they won’t pick you, pick yourself.
I am and it’s working for me.
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Wade Harman
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